Wolfenstein: The New Order

Hey there, new blood! You look kind of familiar...do I know you?

Why I DISLIKE The Legend of Zelda

Okay, okay, okay. It's probably about time to explain why it is I don't agree with much of the TLoZ's game design elements. I don't hate TLoZ in terms of it's own concept especially Ocarina of Time. I mean an open world filled with side quests, hidden collectibles under every rock, and 10 separate fully fleshed out dungeons should make for a rather fun experience right? Wrong, the way Nintendo decided to go about having the player being lead around and forced onto a specific one way path is completely asinine. From the moment you step out of the tree house you're forced to find you're sword and shield before advancing the rest of the game because some asshole kid simply said you couldn't. Besides I should already feel the need to find said sword and shield because I dunno...maybe the player overhears that the forest is filled with dangerous monsters or something and will more than likely get themselves killed without them. Then I would think "Well the wise decision would be to get the sword and shield!" and maybe just maybe one time when I'm playing I could be like "You know what? Let's see what happens if I don't get them!" And then I get my ass kicked! Point is there isn't anything wrong with simply asking the player to get the sword and shield from the beginning but why do developers feel the need to force it down the player's throats? It's just plain unnecessary.

There's also a ton of padding in Ocarina of Time but even the first few Zelda games had it in some form, so I'm not really going to hold it to them. Especially since some people actually enjoy all the menial side quests and junk. Personally I'd rather just wander the Hyrule Field and just have shit going down. Like a trade caravan getting raided, finding caves with no real purpose to them and others that do have purpose. Things like that. I mean there's NOTHING happening ever in Hyrule Field in any Zelda game just some monsters waling around and that's mostly it. For a hub world between the dungeons it's really quite barren. Wind Waker really tried to give the ocean some purpose but even then it was just outposts and barrels with rupees on them. Twilight Princess had the exact same problem that Ocarina of Time did, who would've figured that just because you have more disc space that should automatically mean you had to put no effort into your world at all.

Also there's a ton of pointless NPCs in Zelda games, I don't mind having story told to you directly with tons of dialogue but having people there just as something to interact with is both irritating and completely disrespectful to the player's time. If you're not giving anything to the player in terms of useful information, story, or even an item that NPC has no business being there. Even the seven sages you are supposed to save are no more important than the Spiritual Stones you had to gather early on in the game. Seriously why should the player care about these characters? What reason do they have for being involved? Why couldn't it just be seven more pieces of treasure that the player had to collect? Saria is Link's best friend though. But never is it once explained why that is and thus the best friend point is moot. Sure she gave you the ocarina, but that quickly gets replaced by the Ocarina of Time. Almost as if Link doesn't really care about this so-called priceless gift given to him by someone he would consider his best friend. And really it didn't have to be an entire romantic comedy, Link could have just saved her from being bullied by the other kids or she fell out of a tree in a flashback or something! Anything would've been better than simply shoehorning in a worthless character.

My problem isn't with people that like this game despite it's flaws. You can enjoy a game despite it's flaws all you want. (Hell, I enjoyed 50 Cent Blood on the Sand for crying out loud!) All I'm asking is that you can come to terms with the idea that your game isn't this "Game to End All Games" deal anymore. Ocarina of Time was a monumental game in the 90s. It's place in history hasn't been forgotten, nor will it ever. But Ocarina of Time isn't the best game ever anymore. Many games since have surpassed OoT in both scale and quality. And to be honest. From replaying OoT again for this post. It really feels like the guys over at Nintendo weren't even trying with this game. I've seen Nintendo do much better in a lot of other games and especially other Zelda games. Perhaps there will be another Zelda like OoT that will create that feeling of shock and awe that OoT once gave off. And from what I could guess Zelda Wii U might very well be that game. We're just over 24 hours from finding out. And trust me when the Second Coming of OoT hits, I'll be right there with you feeling the hype come rushing back and hopefully breathe new life back into the Wii U.

Dark Souls 2 Review

[SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE INTENSIFIES]

Adventure. Think about that word for a moment. What does it mean to you? It's probably a lot different than what it means nowadays. Remember when the term adventure was something MORE than just a media buzzword tossed around to sell you on a game? Remember when a game wasn't so much about the marketing behind them and instead about creating an experience to satisfy the player? The industry seems to have forgotten this, but FromSoft is making sure the kindred spirit of adventure stays alive with the Souls series.

Awesomenauts (Thoughts)

After seeing this game being portrayed through the usual mediums I finally decided to have a little look. From the trial version, it's essentially you're standard MOBA akin to that of League of Legends and Dota, though with a few different stipulations. On the one hand you only have to pay 10 bucks to have everything you could ask for without delving into the "microtransaction-y" side of other MOBAs. But LoL is actually free and you only have to pay for characters and costumes if you care enough. Awesomenauts does it away with that notion entirely allowing for everything (seemingly) to be unlocked through constant play. The art direction is pretty zany I suppose, nothing too outrageous. Character's have their own unique playstyles and the like. It's pretty fun and plenty addicting and I've only gotten to play one character! The trial version also gives you a 30 minute limit for online play and you can base your judgement off of that if you're still on the fence about it especially if you're into MOBAs and whatnot. It's a MOBA with a ton of charm and plenty of replayability and it's certainly changed my perspective on what I thought about MOBA's originally.

Bravely Default Demo (Thoughts)

I think it's getting to the point where the spiky-haired protagonists are actually quite charming. Oh, Japan.

Titanfall Open Beta

Titanfall is the much anticipated title from Respawn Entertainment with a focus on multiplayer and balls to the wall super-fighting-robot action. Titanfall will be released on Xbox 360, Xbox One, and PC on March 11. These are my first impressions of the Open Beta released earlier this week.

Ramblings of a Junktown Jerky Vendor

Flappy Bird

Flappy Bird is a mobile phone game. Widely acclaimed as being "difficult and challenging". Again the argument comes up that it's harder than Dark Souls. To be fair, Dark Souls is a complete walk in the park compared to most other games. It's fairly challenging the first time through but after that, it's a cakewalk.

Anyways, Flappy Bird is a game where you take control of a bird by tapping on the screen to elevate the bird a certain height. Until you tap the screen again, the bird will begin to plummet. Sounds simple right? Well, it is. But oh wait! Now we throw in green pipes to make an obstacle and PRESTO! You have a game. These pipes are lawsuits just waiting to happen.

I don't understand what makes games like these so enjoyable. It's a taste for people, but it's so boring and repetitive. It's the same thing with VVVVVV and I Wanna Be The Guy. You have one mechanic and that mechanic is stretched to enormous proportions and ends up getting old within the first half an hour for me. It's a casual thing, I guess.

I got past 30 pipes within a few tries before I got bored. I'm just gonna play more 3D World and collect those remaining Green Stars though. 

Super Mario 3D World Review

Welcome back, Mario! 

Rayman has been keeping your throne warm while you were off selling out!

Sonic Unleashed Rant

What is it with people always bashing Sonic Unleashed in every single way? Sure, the werewolf stages were long and far too drawn out, the GottagoFast (GTGF) Sonic stages were few and far between, the whole having to collect medals in order to progress through the game was incredibly annoying and tedious, BUT.

Gee, I wonder if I'm breaking any new ground here...